Chrysalis
JUNE 6, 2011
A year ago
tonight...
Milt came home from his Boston trip
and my world forever tilted
then not knowing
that he would not be here tonight...
and now...
I find myself even deeper
within this chrysalis
and I know not myself...
a year later
with every window
of my house encased
in plastic sheeting
for the paint that will hopefully be applied
sans any February rain
this seventh day of June...
I am stripped,
turned inside out,
held oh so tight...
I can not see in
and I can not see out...
the forty-eight days
until I get my new pup
might as well be forty-eight years tonight...
or forty-eight light years,
past or present,
I do not know
if I would even show up
in one of Milt's death candles...
I feel so transparent
breathing into right now...
I can feel the tightness
of not knowing the boundaries of where my skin
ends and begins...
I have this new
body
free of the pain
these last few years bound me to...
and I am caught between
my love of changing
and the me that lived here with Milton...
for all I know now
is the freedom of
being
just me...